After Melissa and my first date together, I had to move back to Oregon. My summer spent in California was shorter than expected, but all good things come to an end. (well, let's hope not. (= ha, get it?) It was a very long drive back to Portland, and I ended up crashing on the couch at my Mom's house when I got in at 2am. I had intended on taking it pretty easy that week and showing up at church on Sunday without previously telling anyone I was back, but all that got foiled with a phone call from a guy I haven't talked to in about 2 years. He used to be a customer of mine when I worked at Guitar Center, and he had tracked me down to ask me if I could run sound for him and his band on a month long tour they were going on. I thought, "Yeah, sure! I'd be into that." I hadn't gotten anything lined up yet for work because I'd only been in town for a day. I figured I'd have a week or two to take care of a few things, but then he told me they were leaving the next day..... Luckily I hadn't gotten unpacked yet, so I agreed to go. Funny how things work sometimes, huh?
Well, the tour was delayed for a week or two, so I ended up having some time to take care of a few things after all. One of those was to show up at this YSA (that's young single adult for all you non-mormons that read this) dance on the Portland Spirit that Friday. I had a decent time, but I generally always get bored at those things. Funny enough, there were a couple of girls that were apparently as bored as I was because they had disappeared to the lower deck away from all the people and loud music. I'd met these girls earlier in the evening. One of them had moved in to my Singles ward about a week after I moved out, and the other was a friend of hers that had moved up from utah about the same time she did. I seized the opportunity to hit on two girls at once and joined them at their table. It was an interesting conversation to say the least, mostly due to the girl that had passed out from heat stroke or something being resuscitated on the table next to us, but also because of what a miraculously small world this must be.
At some point in the conversation, the girl from my ward asked why she'd never met me before? What's my story?... that kind of stuff. So I told them about my job down in California and about how I'm back for a week or so before heading out on tour. Then we talked about how I'm a musician, and the whole time we were talking, her friend didn't say a whole lot until finally she had some epiphany and said something along the lines of, "Wait! You just got back from California?" I said yes. "...And you're a musician?" Again, yes. "Did you just go on a date with a girl named Melissa Graham?" ....That was a jaw dropper. "What was it like? Was it weird? Did you know that she used to be like a dating machine?" As it turns out, this girl used to be Melissa's college roommate, and Melissa had liked me so much that after I left for Oregon, she called this girl and told her she should try to go out with me since she no longer could. I always laugh at this: The girl that my friend fixed me up with was now trying to fix me up with her friend because she was bummed that she couldn't date me. (girls are so confusing sometimes!) As weird it was, I'm glad that it happened because it inspired me to get back in touch with Melissa, if only to ask her what she'd said about me.
The next day, I got a phone call from my dear friend Doree. It went a little like this: "Hello, Matty! How are you? What have you been up to? Um... so I heard you had a hot date the other day! What was it like going out with a fresh RM? Was it weird?" Dang-o-rang!! This girl was telling everyone about me! (That's not actually the case, but it was definately a good ego boost. I was feeling pretty good about myself, that's for sure.) So when I finally got a chance to talk to Melissa and tell her that her friends kept asking about us, here was her reply:
"How embarrassing about all those questions. Let it be known yours was the first date I've had since I've been back. So the first date in over two years. And as a girl I talk about dates with my friends, it just so happens that two of my really close friends happen to know you and happen to be a little nosy and needless to say they aren't on my good list these days.
I'm sure glad I haven't run into any of your friends in Fairfield because I don't think I could handle their crazy questions.Whew... Luckily I live in Napa.
Anyway so onto other subjects Can you believe the price of rice in China Wow it sure has skyrocketed!!!"
At that point I realized that this girl liked me when I didn't think I'd made a very good impression on her. But more importantly, I realized that I liked her too. So we kept in touch. I told her that she should call me at weird hours of the night, which she actually did once and I missed the call. We wrote back and forth in messages online, and I was able to talk with her a lot from the road when I finally left for that tour. I was having some really wonderful experiences on that trip, and to top it off, I was getting to know a wonderful woman. The people I was with on this tour kept asking me about this msterious woman. Finally, the tour ended in southern California, and the rout back to Oregon would take us right by the bay. I had an errand or two that I had to take care of down in Fairfield anyway, so I thought it would be a good idea to drop in and visit. Maybe I'd get a chance to see Melissa again for a second date? So I had the guys drop me off at my old apartment building in Fairfield. I had no idea what was about to happen.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Who puts an ATM in a clothing store?!!!!
So, Melissa has written a lot of this out in her blog (this is supposed to be "our blog," but it really is more "mine." That is fairly depressing in itself because I always said that blogs were gay. Anyway...) but her version of this story is a little different than mine. Perception is everything, and perspective defines perception. Read closely, as I will use that phrase again before this post is through.
I'd written Melissa on Facebook and had sort of made a date to go out the Saturday before I moved out o' town, but Melissa thought it'd be a good idea to call me and verify that we were still on. Fair enough. She of course had never met me, and it's never a bad idea to double check, in case this random dude from the giganet happens to be a flake. And besides, I'd given her my number and told her she could call me in hopes that she would. I feel it helps to have at least heard a person's voice before a blind date, that way you can be a little more sure that the person is real, and in my case not a dude. I found out later that even though she thought it'd be good to call as well, she first did a full background check on me to make sure I wasn't some deviant who might require her to use that rape whistle girls carry around on their necks. Anyway, moving on!!
I'd expected that if she was going to call, it'd have been a little earlier in the week, but apparently the bio-scans she was running on me didn't bring back promt results as I didn't hear from her until that Friday. I was at a swing dance club in Sacramento at the time, but since I'd missed the instruction at the beginning, I was a little lost and not having a great time. Also I had just found out that I was finally being forced to leave as soon as the weekend was over, and the girl I was at this club with was engaged. It was nice to have a good reason to hang out outside for a few minutes, so I was perfectly ok when Melissa called. All confirmed: the date was on, and it was up to the out-of-towner to find a good place to go.
The next day was Saturday, as everyone who has graduated 1st grade should remember comes after Friday. I drove out to Napa to pick her up and take her out to what I had planned to be a nice little lunch in wine country. However, I first had to get through the awkward stage of meeting the girl. Luckily for me, she's a hottie! That being said, when she answered the door, I muddled out an introduction and she asked me to come inside for a minute. First objective: completed. Next objective: meet the parents. This would make most guys fairly nervous, especially in a situation where the girl doesn't know you as yet and can't vouch for you before you get there. But not me. I figured, "what's the worst that could happen? They won't like the look of me and won't want their daughter going out with me again?" Whatever... I was moving! Besides, generally I get along with the prospective girl's parents. Only on rare occation have I made a bad first impression with a date's parents. (I wish I could say the same for dates!) So I step inside and here comes a man who sounds like he is in a big hurry to get to the door. Her father eagerly shakes my hand, almost as if he was more glad that I was taking his daughter out than either of us were. That was a little weird, and my first reaction was, "Come on, be a little protective of her! If I had a hot daughter, I'd be trying to scare the guy into having an epileptic seizure, or at least making him fear death if he even thinks something wrong!" But all in all, it was a good first meeting. Objective two: completed.
Objective three: not make a complete fool of myself...... ok, there was a little hiccup with this one. Firstly, I had planned to take Melissa out for a late lunch type of "dinner" (less formal, less intimidating) but as I didn't know any good places (not being from California) I had to do research online to find a restaurant. I chose a place that sounded like it had awesome desserts. I'm sure that it did, but we never found out because when we got there we learned that the place only serves real food for about 15 minutes every day. Objective three: not looking so great at the moment. But it didn't stop there.
Secondly, in light of my misunderstanding of what "dinner" is supposed to entail, Melissa suggested a little mexican place not too far from where we were. Ah, a woman after my own heart! (though I was trying to stay away from things that might make me a little more musical than I had intended on being, if you catch my drift) It was a nice place. We were there for a while talking, plus the burritos we ordered were the size of a small country, or at least Rhode Island. After a while we figured we'd better get going if we were going to catch the movie I'd planned to take her to. So we get the check, I throw down the debit card, and we were shortly on our way..... oh wait, I forgot this one little detail: they only take cash. I thought the waitress was pulling my chain a bit at first. MY BAD!! I thought we were living in the 21st century. Apparently, this restaurant was built in the jurassic period! I've lived in the ghetto before, and even in those places they've caught up with modern technology,.... you just have to pay more. So I ask, "do you have an ATM?" Silly me, that would be too easy! "No we don't, but Mervyn's does." "OK. Where's Mervyn's?" She replied, "Right across the street." Lies!!!!! In Napa, right across the street must mean, "on the other side of that hill, over the creek with the footbridge that has holes in it... watch out for the troll that lives under there. He'll ask few questions and you should be right back on your way... cross the protester's pickett line, and walk a few miles through a desert wasteland, and you're there. You can't miss it!" I guess this is the perfect time to repeat myself: Perception is everything, and perspective defines perception. Well I did miss it,... repeatedly. I kept having to run back and forth in front of the restaurant searching for this place. When I finally found it, I was stupid enough to think that the ATM would be inside of the store. I'm a dummy!! I finally found the ATM, rushed back to the table where I had left my date sitting alone for the past few hours, paid the bill and left. Objective three: pretty much impossible at this point!
We went to the movie theatre in downtown Napa and saw Prince Caspian. I had to make up for the disasters that had previously occured, so I started brainstorming for ideas to win back some points I'd lost over dinner. The best that I came up with was as we were sitting down in our seats. I looked at her, and holding the removable armrest I said, "Ok, let's set some ground rules. You get fresh with me, and this comes down. Got it?" She laughed, and I pretended that this was the first time I had ever used that line. (Melissa, if you're reading this... sorry. =P ) It didn't quite make up for the preceding blunders, but it helped. We watched the movie and the whole time kept thinking about what I should do next. I kept having to remind myself that she litteraly just got home from a mission, so I didn't want to scare her off by being to flirty, nor would I want to seem too cold and uninterested. That's a fine line to walk, my friends. But all in all, it went well. There was no holding hands, no yawning-arm trick. But when I dropped her off I threw in the side hug. I thought I'd blown it, but I should say again: Perception is everything, and perspective defines perception. We talked a little more online before the move 2 days later, but the next time I would spend some time talking with her would be almost a week later. But that's a story for another post.
I'd written Melissa on Facebook and had sort of made a date to go out the Saturday before I moved out o' town, but Melissa thought it'd be a good idea to call me and verify that we were still on. Fair enough. She of course had never met me, and it's never a bad idea to double check, in case this random dude from the giganet happens to be a flake. And besides, I'd given her my number and told her she could call me in hopes that she would. I feel it helps to have at least heard a person's voice before a blind date, that way you can be a little more sure that the person is real, and in my case not a dude. I found out later that even though she thought it'd be good to call as well, she first did a full background check on me to make sure I wasn't some deviant who might require her to use that rape whistle girls carry around on their necks. Anyway, moving on!!
I'd expected that if she was going to call, it'd have been a little earlier in the week, but apparently the bio-scans she was running on me didn't bring back promt results as I didn't hear from her until that Friday. I was at a swing dance club in Sacramento at the time, but since I'd missed the instruction at the beginning, I was a little lost and not having a great time. Also I had just found out that I was finally being forced to leave as soon as the weekend was over, and the girl I was at this club with was engaged. It was nice to have a good reason to hang out outside for a few minutes, so I was perfectly ok when Melissa called. All confirmed: the date was on, and it was up to the out-of-towner to find a good place to go.
The next day was Saturday, as everyone who has graduated 1st grade should remember comes after Friday. I drove out to Napa to pick her up and take her out to what I had planned to be a nice little lunch in wine country. However, I first had to get through the awkward stage of meeting the girl. Luckily for me, she's a hottie! That being said, when she answered the door, I muddled out an introduction and she asked me to come inside for a minute. First objective: completed. Next objective: meet the parents. This would make most guys fairly nervous, especially in a situation where the girl doesn't know you as yet and can't vouch for you before you get there. But not me. I figured, "what's the worst that could happen? They won't like the look of me and won't want their daughter going out with me again?" Whatever... I was moving! Besides, generally I get along with the prospective girl's parents. Only on rare occation have I made a bad first impression with a date's parents. (I wish I could say the same for dates!) So I step inside and here comes a man who sounds like he is in a big hurry to get to the door. Her father eagerly shakes my hand, almost as if he was more glad that I was taking his daughter out than either of us were. That was a little weird, and my first reaction was, "Come on, be a little protective of her! If I had a hot daughter, I'd be trying to scare the guy into having an epileptic seizure, or at least making him fear death if he even thinks something wrong!" But all in all, it was a good first meeting. Objective two: completed.
Objective three: not make a complete fool of myself...... ok, there was a little hiccup with this one. Firstly, I had planned to take Melissa out for a late lunch type of "dinner" (less formal, less intimidating) but as I didn't know any good places (not being from California) I had to do research online to find a restaurant. I chose a place that sounded like it had awesome desserts. I'm sure that it did, but we never found out because when we got there we learned that the place only serves real food for about 15 minutes every day. Objective three: not looking so great at the moment. But it didn't stop there.
Secondly, in light of my misunderstanding of what "dinner" is supposed to entail, Melissa suggested a little mexican place not too far from where we were. Ah, a woman after my own heart! (though I was trying to stay away from things that might make me a little more musical than I had intended on being, if you catch my drift) It was a nice place. We were there for a while talking, plus the burritos we ordered were the size of a small country, or at least Rhode Island. After a while we figured we'd better get going if we were going to catch the movie I'd planned to take her to. So we get the check, I throw down the debit card, and we were shortly on our way..... oh wait, I forgot this one little detail: they only take cash. I thought the waitress was pulling my chain a bit at first. MY BAD!! I thought we were living in the 21st century. Apparently, this restaurant was built in the jurassic period! I've lived in the ghetto before, and even in those places they've caught up with modern technology,.... you just have to pay more. So I ask, "do you have an ATM?" Silly me, that would be too easy! "No we don't, but Mervyn's does." "OK. Where's Mervyn's?" She replied, "Right across the street." Lies!!!!! In Napa, right across the street must mean, "on the other side of that hill, over the creek with the footbridge that has holes in it... watch out for the troll that lives under there. He'll ask few questions and you should be right back on your way... cross the protester's pickett line, and walk a few miles through a desert wasteland, and you're there. You can't miss it!" I guess this is the perfect time to repeat myself: Perception is everything, and perspective defines perception. Well I did miss it,... repeatedly. I kept having to run back and forth in front of the restaurant searching for this place. When I finally found it, I was stupid enough to think that the ATM would be inside of the store. I'm a dummy!! I finally found the ATM, rushed back to the table where I had left my date sitting alone for the past few hours, paid the bill and left. Objective three: pretty much impossible at this point!
We went to the movie theatre in downtown Napa and saw Prince Caspian. I had to make up for the disasters that had previously occured, so I started brainstorming for ideas to win back some points I'd lost over dinner. The best that I came up with was as we were sitting down in our seats. I looked at her, and holding the removable armrest I said, "Ok, let's set some ground rules. You get fresh with me, and this comes down. Got it?" She laughed, and I pretended that this was the first time I had ever used that line. (Melissa, if you're reading this... sorry. =P ) It didn't quite make up for the preceding blunders, but it helped. We watched the movie and the whole time kept thinking about what I should do next. I kept having to remind myself that she litteraly just got home from a mission, so I didn't want to scare her off by being to flirty, nor would I want to seem too cold and uninterested. That's a fine line to walk, my friends. But all in all, it went well. There was no holding hands, no yawning-arm trick. But when I dropped her off I threw in the side hug. I thought I'd blown it, but I should say again: Perception is everything, and perspective defines perception. We talked a little more online before the move 2 days later, but the next time I would spend some time talking with her would be almost a week later. But that's a story for another post.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Where should I begin?.......
People always tell you, "Things don't always work out the way you expect them to." I would argue that things almost never work out the way you expect, and sometimes that's the best thing that could ever happen. Another cliche that we often hear is, "If you'd told me then that I would be here now, I'd have said you were crazy." I'll admit, as much as I hate to say it, that all of these statements are true for me. That's how Melissa and I met.
April, 2008
I had been working in a sales position near downtown Portland when disruptions in the work environment gave me a good reason to move on to bigger and better things. I was given the opportunity to move to Fairfield, California for a summer sales position, and although it didn't seem like something I would greatly enjoy, I felt that it was a good opportunity. I had been offered the same job the previous year (originally to the same location, but later changed to Miami, Florida), and had planned on going then. But as the time came to go, there seemed to be a never-ending onslaught of delays to my departure, until I finally decided not to go. Why did I need to get ready to leave, yet not actually go?....
When the chance to go came up again, it wasn't difficult to prepare for it. You could say that I never actually finished unpacking from the year before. I figured that since I was supposed to go the previous year (which I had felt very strongly about at the time), then I was doing the right thing this time around by actually doing it. I didn't know why I had to cancel the year before, or why it would have been better for me to go this time than the last, but that was what I felt was right.... and that's something that I've learned to trust over the years. So off to California I went for this golden opportunity!!!
The job SUCKED!!! No joke, I have never disliked any other employment I've had more, or even anywhere close to as much as I dispised this. It wasn't the people I worked with, most of whom I loved, nor the beautiful state of California either, which I definately fell in love with. It was the job. I have never felt as miserable about what I did for a living as I did then. So why was I supposed to take this job? Why was it so important that I come?
Shortly before leaving the company and heading back to Oregon, I received a "friend invitation" on facebook from a girl named Melissa Graham. I saw it, looked at the picture, and thought to myself, "Yeah, lady? You're cute, sure, but I have absolutly no idea who you are!" How did this perfect stranger find me on this website, and why would she bother? I was about to dismiss this as yet another.... "indecent invitation" that are often received online.... (fellas, you know what I'm talking about) when I read the little message she wrote to me to identify herself and how I might know her.......
About 7 years earlier, I met a girl named Doree. She and I became fast friends, and she actually became one of my best friends. Among other things, she helped me through a very difficult time. She was one of the only good influences that I had at the time, helped motivate me to rediscover my faith, and helped me get sober when I was anything but. We had at one time tried to make it more than just a friendship, but that just wasn't in the cards. Eventually, Doree went on a mission to Washington D.C. (actually northern Virginia), and while on her mission, she made numerous attempts to "fix me up" with some of her companions. I recieved a letter from one that she had hoped I would become a "pen-pal" with, a phone call from another that had recently returned home, and though I can't recall anymore specifics, there were other attempts as well. I'm glad to say that my dear friend is a terrible match-maker, or so I thought....
Who was this Melissa Graham? She explained it in one sentence: "I'm a friend of Doree's." AH HA!!!! I thought to myself, "I'll bet anything she just got home from a mission in Virginia!" Guess what?.... BINGO!!!!! I always hate it when someone tries to set me up with a blind date, especially when Doree did it, but against better judgement, I made her a facebook friend and didn't pay any attention to it.
The next week, I got fired. (Laid off is more accurate. We just had too many people, and I wasn't the first or the last to have to go, but I like saying that I got fired.) During my last week in the bay, I decided to take the opportunity to get out and experience Cali while I had the chance. I saw the Jelly Belly factory, went swing dancing in Sacramento, got to know the people in my Singles Branch, and I thought, "Why don't I call up the Melonie girl, or whatever her name is. What's the worst that can happen? If she's cool, great. If she's boring, I'm leaving in 3 days anyway! What do I have to lose?" HA!!! I'm such a dummy!!
Coming soon.... "The First Date."
April, 2008
I had been working in a sales position near downtown Portland when disruptions in the work environment gave me a good reason to move on to bigger and better things. I was given the opportunity to move to Fairfield, California for a summer sales position, and although it didn't seem like something I would greatly enjoy, I felt that it was a good opportunity. I had been offered the same job the previous year (originally to the same location, but later changed to Miami, Florida), and had planned on going then. But as the time came to go, there seemed to be a never-ending onslaught of delays to my departure, until I finally decided not to go. Why did I need to get ready to leave, yet not actually go?....
When the chance to go came up again, it wasn't difficult to prepare for it. You could say that I never actually finished unpacking from the year before. I figured that since I was supposed to go the previous year (which I had felt very strongly about at the time), then I was doing the right thing this time around by actually doing it. I didn't know why I had to cancel the year before, or why it would have been better for me to go this time than the last, but that was what I felt was right.... and that's something that I've learned to trust over the years. So off to California I went for this golden opportunity!!!
The job SUCKED!!! No joke, I have never disliked any other employment I've had more, or even anywhere close to as much as I dispised this. It wasn't the people I worked with, most of whom I loved, nor the beautiful state of California either, which I definately fell in love with. It was the job. I have never felt as miserable about what I did for a living as I did then. So why was I supposed to take this job? Why was it so important that I come?
Shortly before leaving the company and heading back to Oregon, I received a "friend invitation" on facebook from a girl named Melissa Graham. I saw it, looked at the picture, and thought to myself, "Yeah, lady? You're cute, sure, but I have absolutly no idea who you are!" How did this perfect stranger find me on this website, and why would she bother? I was about to dismiss this as yet another.... "indecent invitation" that are often received online.... (fellas, you know what I'm talking about) when I read the little message she wrote to me to identify herself and how I might know her.......
About 7 years earlier, I met a girl named Doree. She and I became fast friends, and she actually became one of my best friends. Among other things, she helped me through a very difficult time. She was one of the only good influences that I had at the time, helped motivate me to rediscover my faith, and helped me get sober when I was anything but. We had at one time tried to make it more than just a friendship, but that just wasn't in the cards. Eventually, Doree went on a mission to Washington D.C. (actually northern Virginia), and while on her mission, she made numerous attempts to "fix me up" with some of her companions. I recieved a letter from one that she had hoped I would become a "pen-pal" with, a phone call from another that had recently returned home, and though I can't recall anymore specifics, there were other attempts as well. I'm glad to say that my dear friend is a terrible match-maker, or so I thought....
Who was this Melissa Graham? She explained it in one sentence: "I'm a friend of Doree's." AH HA!!!! I thought to myself, "I'll bet anything she just got home from a mission in Virginia!" Guess what?.... BINGO!!!!! I always hate it when someone tries to set me up with a blind date, especially when Doree did it, but against better judgement, I made her a facebook friend and didn't pay any attention to it.
The next week, I got fired. (Laid off is more accurate. We just had too many people, and I wasn't the first or the last to have to go, but I like saying that I got fired.) During my last week in the bay, I decided to take the opportunity to get out and experience Cali while I had the chance. I saw the Jelly Belly factory, went swing dancing in Sacramento, got to know the people in my Singles Branch, and I thought, "Why don't I call up the Melonie girl, or whatever her name is. What's the worst that can happen? If she's cool, great. If she's boring, I'm leaving in 3 days anyway! What do I have to lose?" HA!!! I'm such a dummy!!
Coming soon.... "The First Date."
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